"Daddy would you like some sausage?"

Well, since last weekend was Father's Day, I took some time away from my blog. I know all of you were heart broken and cried like little hoes in the corner for hours, but fear not......I have returned to my trusty blogging. I love to blog!! Father's Day gifts are usually sub-par. Most of my friends and colleagues, got some pretty lame gifts i.e. tie, socks, shirts, and some lousy hand made piece of pottery which was poorly painted from their kids. Where do they get this stuff? Perhaps at the border in Tijuana. Anyway, since my kids and wife are the best, the gave me the following items:

1. The Gazelle.

Who wouldn't want one of these? Pretty soon, if I actually use this thing, my butt will look as nice as his. But, since my family is the best, they bought the version that actually came with Tony Little! I'm tired of seeing his girly pony tail, but he is a good trainer.


2. The top of the line high tops.

Since the family knows that me and Gates love to b-ball it all the time in the hood, they purchased me some top of the line high tops! Now we can really school those thugs on the play ground, and it helps me get new clients when they see these fly kicks. Who says white boys can't jump?

3. The recliner.

I love to sit down after a nice long hard days work of street pharmacuticaling and watch my stories. It is the best way I can unwind from the stresses of the day. Barby had this one custom designed by Ethan Allen, but he didn't want it mass produced so he had it manufactured by an Amish family in PA.

4. The Lawn Ornament.



I had been looking for the perfect piece of art to put in my front yard for year, but was very unsatisfied with the selection. We even spent a whole summer in Europe looking at famous statues from all sorts of famous artists, but could never find anything prestigious enough to live up to the Schrute name. The kids found this rare gem just down the street at Mr. Gates' house during one of his biannual yard sales. Needless to say the long search is over and the front yard truly has one of the finest, most expensive pieces of art work in it. This definitely captures the the true meaning of our family and what we stand for.....we are better than any one else and are the coolest family! We are the Schrutes!!