Saturday, November 26, 2011

A Gobble Gobble Dickel!

Well.......it has been a very long time since I have posted on the best blog in the world! Since the Micheal Jackson trial they have really cracked down on the street pharmacist industry. Plus meth is losing its patent and going generic. I have had to put in extra hours to make ends meet. But the good news is rubbing alcohol sales are up!

With sales being up, we decided to schmooze and booze some of our clients by taking them on a good old turkey hunt! So Gates and I took a couple of clients on a hunting expedition. Things were going well until we tapped the gallon of anitfreeze! That half blind idiot Charlie Scheen mistook me for a turkey and pumped my gut full of buck shot! It didn't help I was wearing my Thanksgiving day turkey sweater.


All was well in the end, because we did stop by the local park and bagged us a trophy bird! We gave Scheen some tiger's blood and sent him back to rehab. We took this prize bird back and the Mrs. took about 12 hours to cook this huge bird! The bird was so big even Quigibo couldn't finish his dinner.


To make up for the for leaving the wife and kids at home to go hunting, I promised Barbie that I would take her to Walmart for some good old Black Friday shopping. We camped out 2 weeks before the actual day of shopping, well Moeisha did all the sitting. She was cool with it though we brought her a pigeon wing to snack on. I also used the camp out to meet new business clients, who currently have 20/20 vision. We are running a special, free lasic with the signing of a three year contract.


Finally when the door opened, we were able to rush in and get the first i-phone 10! It's amazing!! This bad boy has dot-matrix printing, fax, pager, built in ten-key, carbon copy credit card machine, glucometer, breathalyzer, ovulator, rectal thermometer (much more accurate), Polaroid capabilities, and homing pigeon messaging (actual live pigeon in the phone) plus all the latest and greatest technology we already have! Luckily I beat man-bull to the electronics section. He got caught gazing at the milk isle.




Thank you Steve Jobs! This i-phone is totally dope!